Marriage Transitions

Lets talk about love!!
There are four types of love we discussed in class this week. I will list them and try to describe what they mean in relationships we are familiar with, then I will discuss how each type of love is needful in a marriage.  These loves have a lot to do with marriage transitions- many couple enter marriage thinking it going to to be lovey-dovey, exciting and erotic 24/7 and are not prepared to accept the other loves to appreciate the fullness of loves in a marriage relationship.

1. AGAPE unconditional, for goodwill
• This is similar to God's love
• As a spouse this is needed in you want what is best for your spouse, you are willing to sacrifice your wants for the goodwill of your spouse.  Through thick and thin, you are there when your spouse needs you. No matter if you got in a fight that morning, this kind of love allows you to forget it completely if you spouse runs in with an emergency in need of your help.  There is an omnipotent feel to this relationship, like a knowing that the relationship will have its ups and downs and you are in it for the long run.
2. EROS: erotic, sexual, romantic
• Romantic Comedies
• This is the love you fall in love with. Although, it is unrealistic to have this love every second of everyday, it is very needful in a marriage. There needs to be intimacy and attraction and flirtations, this the exciting, giggly part of your love.
3. STROGE: parent and children
• As a parent I am willing to be whatever I need to be in order for my child to be happy. I may have to be a disciplinarian, a shoulder to cry on, a counselor, a tutor- whatever it may be as my daughter's mother I was determined to be that for her. The love needed nothing in return, yet I have much of myself invested in it.  Similarly, this love is needful in marriage- sometimes a spouse needs a friend, a lover, a support system, a comedian- this love permits your willingness to be this for your spouse- and in so doing you invest into the happiness and success of your spouse. You take their happiness as a personal reflection of your love.
4. PHILLA: friends, brotherly
1. This is important to a marriage because you need to appreciate one another's companionship, there needs to be humor and trust and willingness to stand for you relationship.